I truly feel at this moment of my life it is sketches of a twenty something life. Everything around me is changing. Your twenty I guess are a whirl wind of changes and decisions. We all thought those big ones were college and jobs, IT is more than that. The biggest choices we make are who we are still friends with, how we spend our time, who we travel hours to see even if it is just for a few hours, what we are still involving to be when we grow up, those are the hard ones.
The last few years I have just followed the path in front of me, seldom looking back to see where I have been and forging ahead.
It seems my path unknown to me has taken a U-turn and led me back to Kansas.( Home). God has turn been doing a lot of work on my heart and character in the past year. I never really saw the change until I felt them all at once. I Had a great year working at camp. I am so at peace with myself working and being apart of what SpringHill is doing for the Kingdom. And I knew when it was time to walk on to the next check point and I was extremely excited about my next great adventure. Nashville has been so many things for me. During Camp I prayed for time to be alone and just talk with God, to have a job that didn’t really mean that much, and time to see my friends and reconnect with them. God is always so good to me and it granted my prayers. I have a good job, so many of you have come to see Cassie and I, and it truly has been an adventure. My time alone (and I have had a lot of time alone!!!!) has been very fruitful. It has been hard to be walking around with out anyone with you to share experiences but it has allowed me to really have God with me as my Best friend on my daily adventures. It took awhile but finally I was able to see to really see my life and hear God. It seems he always works fast if you ask me. With in the past month God has seen to my needs and desires completely. My car broke and he found me a new one with in hours. I started to feel drained and unworthy of his love because for the first time I in a long time I stopped giving so much of myself to serving him. I had a job interview that seems is fulfilling the need he sees in my spirit, which I will tell you more about. He placed a longing to be home, not just the place but with the people that made it that way. I have not been home sick since girl scout camp in 4th grade. (it is just creepy that the counselors there do not use their real names). My heart has been so bruised, but it has kept me guarded and feeling like I was too broken to have a healthy relationship. It was a slow process that I did not see evolving until it transformed me, my heart is turning red. What I mean by that is I have crossed a few bridges with people of my youth and God has done some major work on the state of my emotions to where I can be half of a health God focused relationship. If you really knew me you would understand that is a huge step for me to even say, yes I can be in a relationship. Granted there is not a young strapping man around to leap to their feet, but it makes me feel whole in a way I haven’t felt for a long time. I could even be up for marriage… still not so sure about the whole me giving birth to a child but God is working on it. (it just freaks me out, yeah it is “beautiful” and everything, but really it is just gross)
The past few days…
I finally woke up with a smile knowing I would be driving home, home what a glorious word it had been a bit of a curse word for so many years. Back in IL, talked about moving my title back to IL from TN but it is going to cost a small fortune, pretty much I am going to get taxed on the same car THREE TIMES!!! It is out of control.
Spent the evening with the mom and brother, Paul and I got our Easter baskets, pretty much because we don’t have kids so we feel we still deserve them. I made my brother watch Dancing with the StarsJ .
Wednesday I had a Job interview at an academy for Young men, I would be a Case Manger. At first I was not sure what I thought about the position. But I was blown away by the place. My interview was over two hours long, haven’t heard anything back yet but I am really excited.
Things with Olivet seem to be falling into place as well. I am waiting on a few more references and I need to take a few online classes with summer to fulfills some Psy courses.
I drove around and visited a few people in town weds afternoon. I love that about Mahomet you just go walk into your friends houses and hang out for a while. The girls and I looked through old pictures because really Miranda needs more pictures of me up in her apt, If your friends don’t have good pictures of you up how are boys supposed to find you and fall in love with my angelic face. They all had to work the next morning so that made it a bit of an early evening. My friend John (who will be a DR in four weeks) came down from Chicago to hang out so I went out with the boys for a few hours. I was driving of course so I had my new Car “Bella-Eve”. Of course the guys had to much and one of them had to be carried out. At this point I was stressing out about someone puking in my car. When the refugee started to get a little destructive my temper peaked and I started contemplating if I should hit him in the jaw or the throat with my elbow… about this time the cops pull up to the front yard were we are trying to get the refugee in the house. The creepy cop gets really close to my face and asked who just ran away? I looked and him and said “Some one ran away?” Than I realized he was talking about my brother who went ten feet into his own house. It is a little shady neighborhood with crack houses so someone in a brand new car shows up and one guy runs into a house… hmmm. The boys get questioned It starts to snow so I go inside, I finally drive home around 4am. All in all a adventure in it’s self, they are funny to hang out with.
Filling out community college information and Fafas forms all afternoon. I am going to stop by my Dad’s then hit the road back down to TN. Things with my Dad are interesting right now.
